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I blog about daily lifestyle, especially food + beauty!

Tai Chu Chin
aka [tee-see-see]
Love for fashion, kpop, beauty & travel!
Email: chuchin.tai@hotmail.com


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Monday, September 5, 2011



No one can understand how i feel. how i really really feel.
All i can say is im not trying to be mean. i feel really upset, lonely, and angry with myself. i cannot control my tears when i type those msg. i don't know why i feel that way. its not my fault. and im sure of it.

all these conflicts with friends and family. i am sad and want to cry so badly. im not acting emo or whatsoever. i just dont have a space or friend to rant except here. i choose not to go to another site, because i choose to avoid what i know i will see. i choose to run away from the fact, so that i can be a little less upset, and a little less annoyed, less worried, and feeling heavy hearted.

nobody has any idea how heavy my heart is recently. i just cant stop the tears from flowing even if i do not want to. sometimes, social network can be such an ass. everyone of us ended up as keyboard warriors, simple because we human are weak and timid. avoiding everything we could.


its not the first time i have this feeling. i just feel like as invisible as nothing. no one truely bothers. i have fallen apart too many times. i told myself nvr to cry over it, because its not worth it, i told myself to be meaner. and more hard hearted. but each time i just break down even more. yes, im the kind of person, selfish, mean, i dont give a damn about how people think or see me. im self centered. but yet, i yearn for some attention. i know, i dont deserve it. im not that nice towards each and everyone. i hate people easily. i get pissed off easily, i have bad temper and i shoot vulgarities like i change my clothes everyday. but this is the way i am, i cant change. how to be a better person? be a better person that everyone likes ? i dont
know.

maybe this is my life, my fate, my luck. because this is who i am.
how i wish i am away from this stressful country rite now, breaking free from everything. im just so sick of this life.

sometimes i qn myself. y do i always feel that im all alone ? is there a problem with me and my thoughts, or maybe.. im really all alone ?
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